Whilst on Holiday, the above appeared in my coffee- if you can’t see just what i found pretty/amazing enough to take a photo of, then look at the next one for a close up 🙂


and if you didn’t also just got, ‘AW WOW!’ like i did at the time, then shame on you. shameful piles of shamey shame on you…


and i promise that i will write a full updatey/post on all my adventures/travels within the week. maybe. I’ll try. 🙂


Party Hats

It’s funny how, you can leave something, a place, a person, and pick it up exactly where you left off.  My best friend Kristi and I are like that. In the week I spent on the Sunshine Coast, we’ve just picked up the threads of where I left, and we’ve started along the same way we always have been. A few minor changes of course, but in the whole, it’s still US.

On my birthday, Kristi had to work, but in the afternoon, we went shopping, spent hours taking the piss out of skankily dressed girls and boys with crappily done up cars, and generally caused a scene on the sunshine coast.

‘Is it sad that, it’s your 21st, and we’re sitting in hungry jacks, eating burgers for dinner, wearing kids party hats?’ Kristi asked.

‘That’s a rhetorical question, I hope. And the answer is no, if it isn’t’ I said after I managed to stop choking on my mouthful of burger from laughing.

Yep, you read right. For dinner on my 21st, Kristi, her partner Aaron and I, ate Hungry Jacks, stole kids party hats, and got chased by a bunch of sluts who tried to take the piss out of our party hats. Stupid sluts. Gah.

And you know what- lame as that night may sound- i wouldn’t have had my birthday night any other way.


Today I;

Attended Wendy’s funeral- the service was short, simple and beautiful. very emotional, and with many moving tributes.

Ate 250mL of Homer Hudson chocolate rock icecream, because I was sad after aforementioned funeral.

Packed my backpack for the road trip to Queensland. then unpacked and re-packed. twice.

Cuddled in bed with Finley

Damned my ovaries to heck for causing me so much continual agony

Read, and re-read, and re-read a note from my friend Gabby- I love you darling, and I’m always here for you. Rest In Peace, Dear Paul.

Talked to Shaun, and smiled, as usual.

Listened to David Bowie/Queen/Michael Jackson/Willie Nelson, and heard my Step-Grandfathers voice for the first time, on an old recording of him singing. He had a wonderful voice.

Cried a little, a lot, and then some more.

Wrote this simple post, and then defected to bed.


until tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow…


My True Love


It’s been a while since I got this Tattoo, but it’s still my favourite.

I drew it, Jimmy copied it onto me, and now I have a permanent display on my lower right arm, of just how much I love, adore, and desire Coffee.

I’ve had plenty of people ask about it – mostly ‘Why the fuck did you get a cup of coffee tattooed to your arm?’

My standard answer? ‘Coffee isn’t going to Dump me’

hehehe 🙂

day 14, Phenylephrine, Meltdowns and Bonox

So it’s day 14 of my 21 day stint.

many things have happened – I’m not quiet sure how they link together, but this is how it seems to flow in my mind;

saturday, voted in the federal election, really quiet at work, closed early, went home, ran about with Finley, Jesse, Nicole, Lauchlan and Rachael. it was cold. I got a sniffly nose. changed and picked up some gourmet pizzas for dinner with Dad and Pania. watched a bit of the election vote counting. watched Wolverine. was awesome. received phone call from concord hospital to inform us Pania’s (step grandma) mother had passed away. spoke for a while about her death and cried. watched the rest of the vote counting, till midnight when it was called a night. said goodbye. drove home. got home about half-midnight, curled up in bed. slept okay till 6. woke up exhausted, drained, and with a yucky throat. went to work. started bawling when Elsa asked how I was today. recovered, worked. finished early. home by 4:30. slept for an hour. fed Finley. yelled at Finley. showered and nearly passed out. also used most of the hot water. curled up on top of bed sweating, shaking and fighting the urge to vomit, wrapped in track suit, Skippy, dressing gown, blanket and Finley.  6pm, decided to bravely venture forth to chemist. made it to chemist in one, very shaken, piece. spent 50, broke a bottle of glucozade, and had a near mental breakdown when I couldn’t find the tissues. took near overdose levels of each drug to speed up effects. liver began to complain immediately. managed to get home. drank a cup of bonox. which right now, is the most delicious thing in the whole world. now curled up in bed, heater roaring, blankets galore, waiting for sudafed to kick in and unblock my nose. fuck you phenylephrine. where for art thou, pseudoephedrine? return to me, return!

that’s all in one block, because in my head, this is all related, all mashed into one big, long day.

I can’t do a real post justice, but i figured this might provide some amusement for the time being.

Rest In Peace, Wendy Ronganui.

Happy Scottday


It’s my buddy Scott’s 21st today

and even though I can’t be at his fanfuckingtasticamingbirthdaybarbeque
I wish him the very best for at least another 21 years.

if his liver and lungs hold out that long

Love ya scott, party on bro!

Friday night bloos

So I’ve had this day… this shit day.

I’m going to start off by stating categorically I LOVE having short hair. I love it. I’ve had short hair since I was a kid, aside from a few ‘growing’ stints, which I can count on one hand. So, you’d think people would be used to it by now, in this day and age.
You’d think people would stop asking when you’re going to come out, or telling you that ‘You’d look so much NICER with longer hair’

I’m telling you now- I look like a fucking TWAT with long hair. I don’t have to come out, because I am very comfortable with my heterosexuality. It’s my fucking head, and I’ll do whatever the fuck I want with it!

This, my friends, is the beauty of hair… It GROWS!
It even continues to grow once we’re dead.

So stop fucking pressuring me to grow my hair.

I like it.

It’s staying short.
end of story.

I’m also suffering this incredible bout of LonelySickness.

I’ve never had it quiet so bad before. I’ve had to go out and by copious amounts of comfort food. and I just paid $5 for a mango, because I’m desperately wanting summer to arrive. so I’ve got chocolate, strawberry sour straps, M&M cookies, a Mango and diet coke. I also bought a bunch of pretty, happy Daffodils, for the Cancer Council fundraiser.

the bounty- theres also some new tennis balls for Finley and foundation and gel to fix my currently messy head

It’s funny how, you can be surrounded by people so much of the day, and still feel so completely alone.Sometimes, I’d like to be able to just sit on the couch next to someone and not have to talk. Just someone there to ease the loneliness. This probably has a lot to do with how much I’m currently missing James & Matthew, Kristi and Aaron… not to mention all the other lovely people I have back on the Sunshine Coast.
It also was increased by a short conversation with Kevin this evening that went like this
well, Bella, I’m going home for the night
Righto Kev… want me to make you some dinner before you go?”
No thanks darling, I’ll cook at home” pause “If you count heating a pan and sticking some steak in, cooking
At least you turn the pan on- I open a takeaway bag
there was a long pause here, in which I turned some steaks that were cooking, and he stood contemplatively.
I don’t want to live alone, forever, you know?”
yeah I know Kev”
Its always when you settle down to relax, about 9pm, that’s when it hits me hardest… you know, that lonely feeling

I’ve mentioned this before, but I adore Kevin. He’s about 50, an ex-boxer, english. we get on like a house on fire. its marvellous.

in a strange way, it was nice to know someone else is suffering the LonelySickness. because it’s terribly lonely to suffer LonelySickness.



**Update** Aforementioned Mango- possibly the best $5 I’ve spent all winter. Well done, Mexico. I’m impressed.
Just the taste of hot summer days I needed.

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